"Comparison is the thief of joy" - President Roosevelt

I think we would all agree that life has been a bit of a challenge lately. These days of uncertainty seem never ending. For me personally, each day that goes by the future of the hospitality industry gets more and more bleak. Three months ago we were all in survival mode, doing whatever we needed to do to stay safe and just get by, but as the 2nd fiscal quarter comes to a close at the end of June, and company executives are reviewing financials and forecasting the rest of the year, the layoffs have begun, and I have a feeling this is only the beginning. I am thankful that for now I still have a job, but I’m also old enough to know that could easily change any day. My company laid off 2,100 people from their global corporate office last week. Scrolling through LinkedIn and seeing all the posts of people announcing they no longer have positions after decades of service has been very sad. I keep waiting and hoping that my job is secure while also being frustrated, and almost angry that my industry was so greatly affected. When I left the world of entertainment nearly a decade ago I could have done so many other things, but I loved hospitality and food & beverage and I’ve always been good at it, so I decided to just keep going down that road and up the ranks in hotels through the open doors that showed themselves along the way.  Nine years later, here I am on the brink of starting all over. It’s a scary feeling and it’s made me definitely question my life choices. Enter the unhelpful habit of comparing myself to others…

“Comparison is the thief of joy” President Roosevelt once said. This statement could not be truer. I have found myself comparing my life with so many people even more these days. People I don't even know, and then also people that I genuinely love and want the best for. I’ve been guilty of this since moving to NYC and deciding to pursue one of the MOST competitive career paths. Success is everywhere in New York, and people will make it known how successful they are. It seems in New York when you are introduced to someone, it is inadvertently by their resume and all their accomplishments. Social Media doesn’t help either. Everyone paints a façade of his or her life, which looks so amazing for all to see. I’ll admit, I’ve done it too over the years. I don’t have kids or a home or a big career so the way I have bragged about my life and dealt with my insecurities is to post my travels from all over the world. It shows my amazing life, but what it doesn’t show is me dining solo on a romantic island while people look at me strangely, or sipping a glass of wine in Paris watching all the couples and families laughing around me feeling so lonely. My point is, we never really know the true story behind what is shown to us on Social Media. We never know what is actually going on in people’s lives, and when we are constantly seeing only the best we just assume everyone has it all figured out except us. I know I have thought that so many times over the years. “Why do they seem to have it all right and I’m still struggling?” “Why is their career so easy? So lucrative? So steady? And mine is so hard ALL THE TIME.” Over these passed few weeks especially, I have found myself comparing so much. Had I not gone into theater after college, gone into a “normal” career, maybe I wouldn’t be sitting here after the third month not sure where my life is headed. Maybe I would have had money to buy that house already. Maybe I would be married with kids. If I had been born 10 years later maybe I would have the skills needed to compete in this new crazy competitive digital world. So now you can see the rabbit hole my mind has gone down over the last few weeks. I don’t share this to make you feel sorry for me, I share this because I’m pretty positive I’m not the only person who feels this way and gets themselves stuck in the comparison trap. Here’s the thing though…If I think this way I will end up depressed. If I think this way I will convince myself that my life is nothing and all of the work I have done on myself will be wasted. If I think this way, I will constantly be living in a world where I never feel good enough. I don’t want to think this way so I have decided I’m not going to. Yes, it really is that easy. If you also suffer from this way of thinking, this is the best trick I can offer you; next time you start comparing yourself to others tell yourself to just STOP! That’s it, in your mind, out loud, or however you need to do it, just stop. Then…start counting your blessings. This morning as I was writing this post while sipping on my tea, I was texting with a good friend about the hotel industry and how it is going to be a long road back and explained to her how I was feeling.  I started going down the wallowing hole of self pity but decided no more! I immediately focused on just the simple things I had to be grateful for; the hot cup of tea in my hands (with milk and sugar just the way I like it), the friend that was commiserating with me on the other end of the phone line, the ability to be able to fly up to Alaska to see my family, the fact I am even from a place so beautiful. Most of all I stopped and realized that yes, this is hard right now, this is very hard. I’m healthy, and of course that is the most important thing, but sometimes we can’t accept just the basic blessings because we are so wrapped up in everything that is going wrong and all the things we don’t have, instead of the things we do. I have realized over the years that I am someone who perseveres no matter what. Yes, starting over is hard. Finding myself possibly starting a new life without even being able to find a job because there are none is scary, but the number one thing I will always be thankful for, and I must remember is that I am the kind of person that will always be ok, no matter what.