After the Darkness Comes the Light

By the time you read this, Christmas will have come and gone, but at this moment, I am writing on the winter solstice of 2020, looking out at the amazingly beautiful nature of Alaska. As I look from my mother’s warm house upon the frozen lake, trees glistening with snow, a bald eagle soaring in the sky above, and the sun trying desperately to drag its sleepy self up above the horizon at 10:30 am after 18 hours of the night, I am reminded of the famous quote “after the darkness comes the light". No one knows cold, dark winters better than an Alaskan. The darkness slowly turns into full daylight around 11 am here in Anchorage, and if we are lucky enough to have a clear day to see the sun, it is usually struggling to make it’s way over the broad sky before settling back down a mere 4 hours later. This is in the southern part of the state. The residents of Barrow, Alaska above the Arctic Circle have not seen the sun at all since November 18th, and will not see it rise again until January of 2021. Just imagine, two months in darkness. That is enough to put you in a somber mood for sure. When I lived in Alaska growing up, the winter solstice was something we all looked forward to as we would close out the end of one year and welcome the dawn of a new one with more light, energy, and hope for a wonderful year ahead. This is the cycle of the seasons here. The long summer days give way to the crisp autumn fall that then hurls Alaska straight into a long stretch of darkness as winter seems to never end. This year, 2020, will be a year remembered always in history books and in people’s minds as the year everything changed, and the year that darkness enveloped up all more than usual. This year brought pain and suffering to so many people across the globe. Wars, social unrest, a divided America, death, lost jobs and the lights of some of the biggest cities in the world dark for almost a year now. It has also, however, been a year of tremendous love and support, of resilience and finding ourselves. It has been a year that has knocked us down and has forced us to look inward to realize how strong we really are. I have tried my very best to use this year as an opportunity to look at the world through a broader lens. When I came up to Alaska a few weeks ago, I was bracing for the long dark nights which have always been hard for me, but after today we will begin to gain light, and each day that passes will bring a few more minutes of sunshine into our lives. I have been pleasantly surprised that while coming home to Alaska has in its own way been difficult, by embracing all of the emotions I feel, as well as the darkness, I have actually begun to feel very much at peace. I have been trying to incorporate the Danish concept of Hygge (pronounced Hoo-gah) which by definition is “a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being (regarded as a defining characteristic of Danish culture).” By incorporating Hygge into their lives, the Danes, and other Nordic countries embrace the dark winter nights by doing all the wonderful things that winter brings; curling up with a book by the fireplace, good food & wine, warm socks, a hot bath. Embracing the darkness instead of pushing it away is how I have chosen to spend this holiday season in one of the coldest and darkest places on earth. With this shift in mindset, I have been able to see so much beauty around me. Alaska looks like a winter wonderland. This has been the snowiest Christmas since I can remember, and everywhere I look glistens, brightening up the dark nights, and making me appreciate the beauty of the place I will always call home.

2020 has no doubt been difficult, to say the least, but as we close out the year, I am trying my best to find ways to still be grateful for all the blessings in my life because there are so many. It may be harder for others to find this gratitude as it is naturally easier to turn towards anger, but that is why this year more than ever, It is up to all of us to do the best we can to embrace this Holiday season with joy and love for each other instead of sorrow and pain. This is a year to be extra kind to our neighbors, extra loving to our family, and extra appreciative of this beautiful world God has given us. This year, I will listen to the Christmas Carols with my mom baking cookies and while my heart is at times filled with nostalgia that brings waves of sadness, I will also smile and remember that just being here with her is the biggest blessing of all. I will remember what this holiday is about, the birth of Jesus, keeping traditions alive, and love for our families and for each other, and I will especially find gratitude that once again, I have been able to come home.