Living in the Most Populous City in America During a Global Pandemic

These past couple weeks have been a complete whirlwind. I think we all agree that we have never experienced anything like this. It is terrifying and scary and uncertain and it’s all happening so fast. Just a month ago I had a job, clients, business. I was walking out on the streets, meeting with friends and family for dinner, drinks and walks. Today, I am on furlough for a minimum of 60 days without pay and I haven’t left my house (except for a couple necessary appointments or pharmacy runs) in 10 days. Living in one of the biggest cities in the world and the most populous city in America, this is all very scary. Yesterday I ordered a 90-day supply of any meds I might need and asked the deliveryman from the pharmacy to leave them outside. When he came to the door and knocked, I saw that he had a mask on. I gave him a thumbs up sign from inside the safety of my home so he would know he could leave. I then put gloves on, opened the door brought everything in and wiped it all off with Lysol wipes. That’s how I handle every delivery now, like a neurotic germaphobe. I haven’t been to the grocery store in 11 days, it gives me too much anxiety. Walking on the streets with anyone around is nerve wracking enough. I try and get out to take walks to clear my mind and relax, but sometimes it makes me even more anxious than just staying in. I haven’t taken the subway in two weeks, but even taking ubers is scary. I use a ski buff (the scarves you pull up around your nose when skiing) and gloves and I carry Lysol wipes with me everywhere.

When this all started it felt a bit like a holiday (Isn’t that what they said in Italy?). Now, it’s turning into an anxiety filled existence. Paranoia has completely taken over my mind. The addiction of watching the news or texting to friends and family terrible awful statistics is powerful and I’m trying to fight it. I see what is happening in Italy and I pray it wont be the same here. My stomach is in knots. I am an extremely healthy person but even I am smart enough to know that this virus is affecting everyone differently. I have gone through so many emotions since this all started. When clients began occasionally cancelling I thought they were overreacting and I was annoyed that this virus was causing so much uncertainty in our business. I called it “just a flu” and even encouraged people to get on planes and continue to travel because it was starting to impact the travel and hospitality industry. Then, last Thursday when Governor Cuomo announced a ban on any group functions of 500 or more I started to really worry. I work at a convention hotel so this ban affects us especially. We are essentially unable to conduct business anymore and as a result we have suspended operation and the team has been furloughed. This is happening to pretty much every hotel in NYC and across the country.

Throughout all of this I am trying to remain optimistic. At first I was very positive about it all. I think because it was making me realize, once again, how much I have to be thankful for. There are a lot of people in a very tough situation right now, whether that is medically or financially, and as a single person who has no children to take care of, it is very easy for me to stay positive when I’m sure people around me are only feeling dread. For me, during this pandemic I am trying to focus on what I have to be thankful for. I am personally strictly standing by the social distancing guidelines and am not leaving my home unless it is absolutely necessary for essential items that cannot be delivered. 10 days ago I was encouraging people to still travel, even thanking them for keeping the travel industry afloat and getting on planes. I was telling people to be careful and cautious, but to not let this stop their lives. I was declaring this is not that bad, and we are overreacting. I think everyone went through this stage at some point. Now, I feel very differently. New York City, the city that never sleeps has shut down. Broadway is dark; The NBA and NHL seasons have been cancelled. MBA is postponed. The famed skyscrapers of Manhattan are empty as people are now working from home, or not working at all anymore. I know that other cities all over the world are enforcing restrictions as well, but for some reason being in a city of 8.6 million people and the epicenter of the disease in America, it all seems very scary.

Last Thursday, when Governor Cuomo banned gatherings of 500 or more and everything started shutting down was just the start and I believe a wakeup call for many people across the country. Not to sound superior, but when New York City closes the rest of the country takes notice. Many cities are enforcing strict regulations. My home city of Anchorage, Alaska basically shut down when there was only 1 case in Alaska, now there are 14, all from people travelling from the states. I’m sure there are still many people who think this is not that bad and that it’s all being over dramatized, I used to think so too, but now I know it’s bad, and whether it is actually “that” bad or not, is not our place to decide. Staying in and practicing social distancing however, is our responsibility as American citizens. It’s not crazy or paranoid; it’s courteous and polite so that our medical professionals can get on top of this before it’s worse. Last Thursday night changed everything for me. When Governor Cuomo made his speech shifted in me, and what that “something” was…was control. I suddenly realized I have zero control of any of this. I realized that the only thing I have control over is myself, and doing my part to keep my neighbors and fellow New Yorkers safe and healthy by staying home as much as I can.

Besides the anxiety I have, I am also feeling extremely thankful; thankful for my house that I will be spending a LOT of time in over the next several weeks (maybe months). Thankful for technology for making it possible to virtually “hang out” with my family and friends on FaceTime. Thankful for the employees working at the grocery stores and the pharmacies so I can get my meds and whatever else I need to get by, and of course all the medical professionals selflessly taking time from their own families and risking their health for us. Thankful for my mother being up in Alaska as it has not yet quickly spread up there. Thankful for my emergency fund in the bank as I suddenly find myself unemployed. Thankful that my church is live streaming services so I can find a little bit of comfort at home. Thankful I am young and know no matter what happens I will rebound and I am resilient. Along with the fear, anger and frustration I have felt, there is also so much gratitude that has washed over me through all of this. As a woman of faith I must say my faith is also getting me through. I truly believe that things like this happen for a very important reason, and that reason is to bring people back to reality and back to the basics. Our society and our country as a whole have become very selfish and greedy over the years. We are focused on money and success over family and health. The truth is we can have all the money in the world but if we don’t have our health none of it matters. My father used to tell us all the time growing up “take care of your health, because, without it you have nothing”. It’s so true, and during extremely challenging times like these we are reminded of this. Also, in honor of finding silver linings, we have been hearing that the skies in China are blue for the first time in forever, and not gray with smog. The River in Venice is a deep green, and the water in the canals are clearing up (I know this for certain because a friend living there is sending me photos). I think God (or Mother Nature) just had enough and needed to do something for people to really listen. We can’t control anything that is happening right now except for ourselves. We just have to ride this wave together. Take this time as an opportunity to get in touch with yourself, spend more time with your family, and find the simple pleasures in life again. I can guarantee we will all come out of this much more grateful for our lives. Yes, the economic devastation this is causing is no doubt reason for dread and panic, and up until last Thursday this was what I was most concerned about, but now my mind has shifted and at this moment none of that matters. We can make the money back. The market will rebound, it always does, but we have to take care of each other now. All that matters over these next couple of weeks and months is our faith, our health, our family & friends and our fellow citizens. The rest we can deal with later.

Wishing you all peace and hope during this insanely weird and crazy time.