Honoring The Four Agreements with Yourself
I have spent a good part of my adult life reading self-help books. I love them! They all pretty much convey the same message, love yourself, live in the present moment and you can pretty much do anything. Recently I have been feeling the need for some good self help reminders. Let’s be honest, who can afford therapy right now? I looked through my bookshelf and decided on The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. If this book is not on your shelf, buy it immediately. It is $4.09 on Thrift Books so even unemployed during a global pandemic you can afford it.
Don Miguel Ruiz starts out by talking about the Toltec people of southern Mexico who lived from 900-1150 AD. They were spiritual warriors and traveled to all corners of their empire to spread their knowledge. The introduction, “The Smokey Mirror” explains that basically none of this extra stuff in life means much. It’s all just noise. All of it. All the stress and worry about things out of our control. The political fights and banter going on at the moment. The gossip and the hate. It’s all smoke in mirrors. Mr. Ruiz explains that “Everything in existence is a manifestation of the one living being, we call God. Everything is God…Human perception is merely light perceiving light - Everything is a mirror that reflects light and creates images of that light - and the world of illusion, the dream, is just like smoke which doesn’t allow us to see what we really are. ‘The real us is pure love, pure light.’ ” in simpler terms, what he’s saying is that none of this “noise” is actually us. The judgement and the anger, the opinions and the frustration. The need to have the nicest things and the biggest cars. This is not who we are in our purest, truest form. Who we really are, are just simple people. Pure love, and pure light. It’s all the other stuff we let get in the way that is what changes us, but underneath it all we are still the basic, pure self that we have always been.
This concept can be a little confusing, but trust me, read the book. It will be the best $4 you have spent this week. Keep it somewhere you can refer to it whenever you need a reminder. Tip: write the four agreements down on paper and put it somewhere you will be reminded every day. Mine is on my bedroom door so I see it first thing in the morning.
I’ve summarized in my own words, but you will need to read the book to get the full impact.
The Four Agreements
Be Impeccable with Your Word - simply said, just be kind with what you say. Gossip is addicting, but it’s also poison, and It comes from a place of our own insecurities. Angry words said directly too someone have long lasting effects, so be careful. They can damage event the strongest relationship. Be kind. Use words to spread love, not hate.
Don’t Take Anything Personally - Nothing anyone else does or says is ever about us. It is always about what that person is going through. Don’t take anything personally. If you have caused any harm apologize and move on. It’s no longer about you at that point.
Don’t Make Assumptions - Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions can cause a lot of unnecessary confusion. Never assume anything. Always ask and clarify. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. If you don’t know, ask, or don’t, but never assume.
Do the Best You Can - If you make a vow to do the best you can on the three agreements above, Mr. Ruiz promises that you will live a life free of burden and suffering. If you truly are doing your best, that’s all you can do. Leave the rest up to God (whoever God is in your life) and move on.
I finished the book in a few days, It’s only 138 pages, and it has made me feel so much better. I wake up and strive to honor these 4 agreements. I’m not perfect, far from it. I mess up…alot. I say hurtful things I don't mean sometimes. I take things personally and make assumptions. That's being human. Overtime though, I hope to keep getting better. I hope that I can honor these four agreements with myself and live a life that is filled with love and happiness. With this book you will learn that the real truth, the real you is still there in it’s purest form, waiting for amazing things to happen.
“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive - the risk to be alive and express what we really are”
